Black and White

[Steve]

The simple fact is this: anything that does not draw us closer to God takes us away from Him. We have no middle ground, no foggy gray area where we can sin a little without suffering spiritual decline.

Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin, General Conference, October 1992

[Steve]

What a rebuke that was! And what a lesson for the new king!

"Now thy kingdom shall not continue: The Lord hath sought him a man after his own heart, and the Lord hath commanded him to be captain over his people." So Saul would be replaced! The Lord rejected him then and there.

And the reason: "Because thou hast not kept that which the Lord commanded thee." (1 Sam. 13:1-14.)

Here was a great lesson of what the Lord expects by way of obedience to his commandments. There was no room for vacilating on Saul's part. There was no "gray area" between the white and black of obedience and disobedience. Saul either obeyed the word of God or he did not. And in this unfortunate case, he did not.

Elder Mark E. Petersen, Three Kings of Israel

[Steve]

All good ideas can be gone over again and again until they are fully understood. That is a pretty good procedure for developing our convictions. We should go over them again and again until we fully believe all good righteous ideas. Jesus said, "If any man will do his will, he shall know of the doctrine, whether it be of God, or whether I speak of myself." (John 7:17.) When we live on a 100 percent basis, then we will be able to get out of that misty, shadowy, half-light in which so many of us live so much of our lives.

Many of life's problems are caused because too frequently our belief is regulated by our moods instead of the facts. Sometimes when we get a little discouraged or lonesome, we may do things that we would not do if we were living at our best. There is an ebb and flow in our lives. We go up and down on the scale of excellence. We sin at night and hate ourselves in the morning. We frequently react to things not according to whether they are right or wrong but according to how we feel at the moment.

Elder Sterling W. Sill, Principles, Promises, and Powers

[Steve]

Satan will try mightily to discourage you. Initially he may encourage you to do many worthwhile things, but not the essential ones. Then he will try to lead you through rationalization into gray areas and subsequently into dark ones. Beware of rationalization. It is to twist something you know to be true into a pattern that appears to support an exception to truth. Again, rationalization would lead you down blind alleys. It can take you from the path to happiness because it distorts your understanding of truth.

Elder Richard G. Scott, Finding Peace, Happiness, and Joy

[Steve]

In righteousness there is great simplicity. In every case that confronts us in life there is either a right way or a wrong way to proceed. If we choose the right way, we are sustained in our actions by the principles of righteousness, in the which there is power from the heavens. If we choose the wrong way and act on that choice, there is no such heavenly promise or power, and we are alone and are destined to fail.

The question arises: How can we know which is right and which is wrong? Just as our Heavenly Father sent His Son, Jesus Christ, to create this earth and to execute and govern all things pertaining to it, so He sent the Holy Ghost to act in providing the light of the Spirit to men on the earth.

The light of the Spirit is organized as a communication system to transmit concepts of truth into the minds of the children of God. The Holy Ghost, by way of the Spirit, will enlighten our minds and give us clarity of understanding of concepts of truth if we obey the laws which govern the use of the Spirit. This is the way that our Father in Heaven teaches us right from wrong. If we are willing to learn His ways and follow them, we will never have to guess, but we will always know for sure the difference between right and wrong.

Elder William R. Bradford, General Conference, October 1993

[Ian]

Today, at age 90, Norma Nichols has vivid memories of her time on the LDS Primary General Board.... "I remember we thought about dropping the word 'the' out and having just a CR ring — Choose Right," Nichols says today. "I went home that night to think about it. That's when the inspiration came that the word 'the' was the most important word of all. Choosing right could mean many things, but choosing the right meant there was only one way. We kept the 'T' in CTR."

Jerry Johnston, "Putting T in CTR was right choice," Deseret News, February 10, 2001

[Steve]

We are followers of Jesus Christ. There is no middle ground.

(Elder Dallin H. Oaks, Teachings of Jesus)

You will find those in mortality who want as much latitude as possible, as much gray area as they can find, between honesty and dishonesty. The Lord has established the standard. It is the same as the Savior taught. There is no gray area.

(Elder L. Tom Perry, The University of Mortality)

Brethren, within the confines of whatever circumstances we find ourselves, we will always have the right to choose. Next, with the right of choice comes the responsibility to choose. We cannot be neutral; there is no middle ground.

(President Thomas S. Monson, The Three Rs of Choice)

We are either for the Church or we are against it. We either take its part or we take the consequences. We cannot survive spiritually with one foot in the Church and the other in the world. We must make the choice. It is either the Church or the world. There is no middle ground. And the Lord loves a courageous man who fights openly and boldly in his army.

To certain members of his ancient church, he said:

“I know thy works, that thou art neither cold nor hot: I would thou wert cold or hot.

“So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of my mouth.” (Rev. 3:15–16.) The summer patriot and the sunshine saint retreat when the battle wages fiercely around them. Theirs is not the conqueror’s crown. They are overcome by the world.

Members of the Church who have testimonies and who live clean and upright lives, but who are not courageous and valiant, do not gain the celestial kingdom. Theirs is a terrestrial inheritance.

(Elder Bruce R. McConkie, Be Valiant in the Fight of Faith)

There are some who would have us believe there is no right or wrong—that everything is relative. We must never allow ourselves to think proper conduct and decision making are found in a convenient path somewhere between right and wrong.

(Elder Marvin J. Ashton, "This is No Harm")

At the time of baptism you agreed to keep all God’s commandments. He has not left you alone to flounder over what these are, or what is right or wrong. He is very specific and clear on how you should conduct your life as a member of His church. His laws are embodied in the Ten Commandments, the Sermon on the Mount, and latter-day revelations.

(President Ezra Taft Benson, On My Honor)

Tell the children that Heavenly Father’s plan gives us freedom to choose right or wrong. Explain that good choices lead to freedom and happiness, while bad choices lead to captivity and unhappiness (see 2 Nephi 2:27).

(2016 Outline for Sharing Time)

[Angela]

thanks guys, for the quotes! I found the "CTR" quote very interesting.

[Ian]

Our choice in this life is not whether we will or will not be subject to any power. Our choice is to which authority we will yield obedience: God’s or Satan’s. As Lehi stated, it is a choice between liberty and captivity (see 2 Nephi 2:27). If it is not one, it is necessarily the other.

Elder D. Todd Christofferson, You Are Free, Ensign, March 2013

[Steve]

As we journey along through life we, as individuals, come in contact with many shaded areas, twilight zones, and even dark alleys, where we, unless aided by a higher power, are not able to see clearly, to interpret correctly, and to come to sound conclusions. Some of these shaded areas are found in the physical world, some in the intellectual world, and some in the realm of the spiritual. Let us remember, however, that the Lord has said that all things unto him are spiritual. ...

It is important that we remember also that no matter how intelligent we may be, no matter how hard we work, no matter how good our teachers are or how favorable the other conditions for learning, in our allotted span of years on earth we can master only a very small fraction of the total field of knowledge; and what we do master usually is in a narrowed-down, specialized area. Consequently, we, in and of ourselves, have limitations. Our thinking is often highly selective and segmented and our judgment is often faulty. Should we not, then, be willing to heed the counsel given by Solomon:

“Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.

“In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.” (Prov. 3:5–6.)

Without divine guidance, we will have difficulty in the shaded areas of life. But we need not walk alone. Our Father in heaven and his Son Jesus Christ and the prophets—both ancient and modern—have given us a well-charted course for our journey through life. We can find joy and happiness and we can arrive at our destination in safety if we will but heed the road signs and follow the directions that have been given to us.

What are these road signs and directions? They are recorded in detail in holy writ and in the inspired utterings of our present-day prophets.

(William H. Bennett, Help Needed in the Shaded Areas, April 1971 General Conference) ↗

[Betsy]

You're welcome, Angela!

[Betsy]

Becoming Perfect in Christ
Gerrit W. Gong
By Elder Gerrit W. Gong
Of the Seventy

We sing with our children, “I feel my Savior’s love, the love he freely gives me.”1

His atoning love, freely given, is as “milk and honey, without money and without price” (2 Nephi 26:25). Infinite and eternal (see Alma 34:10), the Atonement invites us to “come unto Christ, and be perfected in him” (Moroni 10:32).

Understanding the Savior’s freely given atoning love can free us from self-imposed, incorrect, and unrealistic expectations of what perfection is. Such understanding allows us to let go of fears that we are imperfect—fears that we make mistakes, fears that we are not good enough, fears that we are a failure compared to others, fears that we are not doing enough to merit His love.

The Savior’s freely given atoning love helps us become more forgiving and less judgmental of others and of ourselves. This love heals our relationships and gives us opportunities to love, understand, and serve as our Savior would.

His atoning love changes our concept of perfection. We can put our trust in Him, diligently keep His commandments, and continue in the faith (see Mosiah 4:6)—even as we also feel greater humility, gratitude, and dependence on His merits, mercy, and grace (see 2 Nephi 2:8).

In a broader sense, coming unto Christ and being perfected in Him places perfection within the eternal journey of our spirit and body—in essence, the eternal journey of our soul (see D&C 88:15). Becoming perfect results from our journey through physical life, death, and resurrection, when all things are restored “to their proper and perfect frame” (Alma 40:23). It includes the process of spiritual birth, which brings “a mighty change” to our hearts and dispositions (Mosiah 5:2). It reflects our lifelong refinement through Christlike service and obedience to the Savior’s commandments and our covenants. And it recognizes the perfecting relationship between the living and the dead (see D&C 128:18).

The word perfection, however, is sometimes misunderstood to mean never making a mistake. Perhaps you or someone you know is trying hard to be perfect in this way. Because such perfection always seems out of reach, even our best efforts can leave us anxious, discouraged, or exhausted. We unsuccessfully try to control our circumstances and the people around us. We fret over weaknesses and mistakes. In fact, the harder we try, the further we may feel from the perfection we seek.

In what follows, I seek to deepen our appreciation for the doctrine of the Atonement of Jesus Christ and for the love and mercy the Savior freely gives us. I invite you to apply your understanding of the doctrine of the Atonement to help yourself and others, including missionaries, students, young single adults, fathers, mothers, single heads of households, and others who may feel pressure to find perfection or to be perfect.

The Atonement of Jesus Christ

Prepared from the foundation of the world (see Mosiah 4:6–7), our Savior’s Atonement allows us to learn, repent, and grow by our own experiences and choices.

In this mortal probation, both gradual “line upon line” (D&C 98:12) spiritual growth and transformative “mighty change” of heart (Alma 5:12, 13; Mosiah 5:2) spiritual experiences help us come unto Christ and be perfected in Him. The familiar term “endure to the end” reminds us that eternal growth often involves both time and process.

In the concluding chapter of the Book of Mormon, the great prophet Moroni teaches us how to come unto and be perfected in Christ. We “deny [our]selves of all ungodliness.” We “love God with all [our] might, mind and strength.” Then His grace is sufficient for us, “that by his grace [we] may be perfect in Christ.” If we “deny not” the power of God, we can be “sanctified in Christ by the grace of God,” which “is in the covenant of the Father unto the remission of [our] sins,” that we can “become holy, without spot” (Moroni 10:32, 33).

Ultimately, it is the Savior’s “great and last sacrifice” that brings about “mercy, which overpowereth justice, and bringeth about means unto men that they may have faith unto repentance” (Alma 34:14, 15). Indeed, our “faith unto repentance” is essential for us to come unto Christ, be perfected in Him, and enjoy the blessings of “the great and eternal plan of redemption” (Alma 34:16).

Fully accepting our Savior’s Atonement can increase our faith and give us courage to let go of constraining expectations that we are somehow required to be or to make things perfect. Black-and-white thinking says everything is either absolutely perfect or hopelessly flawed. But we can gratefully accept, as God’s sons and daughters, that we are His greatest handiwork (see Psalm 8:3–6; Hebrews 2:7), even though we are still a work in progress.

As we understand our Savior’s freely given atoning love, we cease fearing that He may be a harsh, faultfinding judge. Instead, we feel assurance, “for God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved” (John 3:17). And we understand that time and process are needed for growth (see Moses 7:21).

Our Perfect Example

Only our Savior lived a perfect life, and even He learned and grew in mortal experience. Indeed, “he received not of the fulness at first, but continued from grace to grace, until he received a fulness” (D&C 93:13).

Young Jesus with Joseph
Jesus as a Youth in the Carpenter’s Shop, by Del Parson

He learned through mortal experience to “take upon him [our] infirmities … that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people” (Alma 7:12). He did not succumb to temptations, sins, or daily pressures, but He descended below all of mortality’s trials and challenges (see D&C 122:8).

In the Sermon on the Mount, the Savior commands us: “Be ye therefore perfect” (Matthew 5:48). The Greek word for perfect can be translated as “complete, finished, fully developed” (in Matthew 5:48, footnote b). Our Savior asks us to become complete, finished, fully developed—to be perfected in the virtues and attributes He and our Father in Heaven exemplify.2

Let us see how applying the doctrine of the Atonement may help those who feel they need to find perfection or to be perfect.

Perfectionism

A misunderstanding of what it means to be perfect can result in perfectionism—an attitude or behavior that takes an admirable desire to be good and turns it into an unrealistic expectation to be perfect now. Perfectionism sometimes arises from the feeling that only those who are perfect deserve to be loved or that we do not deserve to be happy unless we are perfect.

Perfectionism can cause sleeplessness, anxiety, procrastination, discouragement, self-justification, and depression. These feelings can crowd out the peace, joy, and assurance our Savior wants us to have.

Missionaries who want to be perfect now may become anxious or discouraged if learning their mission language, seeing people baptized, or receiving mission leadership assignments do not happen fast enough. For capable young people accustomed to accomplishment, a mission may be life’s first great challenge. But missionaries can be exactly obedient without being perfect. They can measure their success primarily by their commitment to help individuals and families “become faithful members of the Church who enjoy the presence of the Holy Ghost.”3

Students beginning a new school year, especially those leaving home for college, face both excitement and concerns. Student scholars, athletes, artists, and so forth go from being a “big fish in a little pond” to feeling like a minnow in an ocean with unfamiliar tides and swift, unpredictable currents. It is easy for students with perfectionist tendencies to feel that, no matter how hard they try, they have failed if they are not first in all things.

Given life’s demands, students can learn that it is sometimes perfectly fine to do all they can and that it is not always possible to be the very best.

We also impose expectations of perfection in our own homes. A father or mother may feel compelled to be the perfect spouse, parent, homemaker, breadwinner, or part of a perfect Latter-day Saint family—now.

What helps those who battle perfectionist tendencies? Open-ended, supportive inquiries communicate acceptance and love. They invite others to focus on the positive. They allow us to define what we feel is going well. Family and friends can avoid competitive comparisons and instead offer sincere encouragement.

Another serious dimension of perfectionism is to hold others to our unrealistic, judgmental, or unforgiving standards. Such behavior may, in fact, deny or limit the blessings of the Savior’s Atonement in our lives and in the lives of others. For example, young single adults may make a list of desired qualities in a potential spouse and yet be unable to marry because of unrealistic expectations for the perfect companion.

Thus, a sister may be unwilling to consider dating a wonderful, worthy brother who falls short on her perfectionist scale—he does not dance well, is not planning to be wealthy, did not serve a mission, or admits to a past problem with pornography since resolved through repentance and counseling.

Similarly, a brother may not consider dating a wonderful, worthy sister who doesn’t fit his unrealistic profile—she is not a sports enthusiast, a Relief Society president, a beauty queen, a sophisticated budgeter, or she admits to an earlier, now-resolved weakness with the Word of Wisdom.

Of course, we should consider qualities we desire in ourselves and in a potential spouse. We should maintain our highest hopes and standards. But if we are humble, we will be surprised by goodness in unexpected places, and we may create opportunities to grow closer to someone who, like us, is not perfect.

Faith acknowledges that, through repentance and the power of the Atonement, weakness can be made strong and repented sins can truly be forgiven.

Happy marriages are not the result of two perfect people saying vows. Rather, devotion and love grow as two imperfect people build, bless, help, encourage, and forgive along the way. The wife of a modern prophet was once asked what it was like being married to a prophet. She wisely replied that she had not married a prophet; she had simply married a man who was completely dedicated to the Church no matter what calling he received.4 In other words, in process of time, husbands and wives grow together—individually and as a couple.

The wait for a perfect spouse, perfect education, perfect job, or perfect house will be long and lonely. We are wise to follow the Spirit in life’s important decisions and not let doubts spawned by perfectionist demands hinder our progress.

For those who may feel chronically burdened or anxious, sincerely ask yourself, “Do I define perfection and success by the doctrines of the Savior’s atoning love or by the world’s standards? Do I measure success or failure by the Holy Ghost confirming my righteous desires or by some worldly standard?”

For those who feel physically or emotionally exhausted, start getting regular sleep and rest, and make time to eat and relax. Recognize that being busy is not the same as being worthy, and being worthy does not require perfection.5

For those prone to see their own weaknesses or shortcomings, celebrate with gratitude the things you do well, however large or small.

For those who fear failure and who procrastinate, sometimes by overpreparing, be assured and encouraged that there is no need to withdraw from challenging activities that may bring great growth!

Where needed and appropriate, seek spiritual counsel or competent medical attention to help you relax, develop positive ways to think and structure your life, reduce self-defeating behaviors, and experience and express more gratitude.6

Impatience impedes faith. Faith and patience will help missionaries understand a new language or culture, students to master new subjects, and young single adults to begin building relationships rather than waiting for everything to be perfect. Faith and patience will also help those waiting for temple sealing clearances or restoration of priesthood blessings.

As we act and are not acted upon (see 2 Nephi 2:14), we can navigate between complementary virtues and achieve much of life’s growth. These can appear in “an opposition,” being “a compound in one” (2 Nephi 2:11).

For example, we can cease to be idle (see D&C 88:124) without running faster than we have strength (see Mosiah 4:27).

We can be “anxiously engaged in a good cause” (D&C 58:27) while also periodically pausing to “be still, and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10; see also D&C 101:16).

We can find our lives by losing our lives for the Savior’s sake (see Matthew 10:39; 16:25).

We can be “not weary in well-doing” (D&C 64:33; see also Galatians 6:9) while taking appropriate time to refresh spiritually and physically.

We can be lighthearted without being light-minded.

We can laugh heartily with but not haughtily at.

Our Savior and His Atonement invite us to “come unto Christ, and be perfected in him.” As we do so, He promises that His grace is “sufficient for you, that by his grace ye may be perfect in Christ” (Moroni 10:32).

For those burdened by cares to find perfection or to be perfect now, our Savior’s freely given atoning love assures us:

“Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

“… For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light” (Matthew 11:28, 30).7

[Ian]

that article is already cited and discussed here.

[Betsy]

Great. It's worth posting in it's entirety. I also loved what Micah said about it earlier:

I believe that the appeal in the black and white philosophy is that it makes salvation by our works look so attainable. You can categorize every decision as right or wrong, and then simply pick the right one--easy peasey lemon squeezy. If I could just somehow get a list of all the commandments (with all the exceptions included, of course), I would be set! And I can also judge everyone else who I see failing to be less then me--instant ego boost! I can convince myself of my righteousness by remembering all the commandments I keeping to the letter. But then I would read the New Testament, and realize that what God wants is not someone who just ACTS a certain way, but someone who IS a certain way. You can certainly keep a long list of commandments and be damned.

As I mentioned earlier, I believe that this life is about character making. We make closer and closer approximations to God-like character. The atonement allows this approximations to be accepted by a perfect God. But you better believe that along the way those approximations are grey. Eventually, however, the grey starts to look whiter and whiter until somehow, in some distant time (or eternity), we achieve complete whiteness.

[Ian]

yes, that was posted a while ago and it's still false.