PLEASE READ - a personal essay by Betsy Croft

[Steve]

...and in that light, here's my warning to Betsy and anyone else who reads this thread.

False prophets and false teachers are also those who attempt to change the God-given and scripturally based doctrines that protect the sanctity of marriage, the divine nature of the family, and the essential doctrine of personal morality. They advocate a redefinition of morality to justify fornication, adultery, and homosexual relationships. Some openly champion the legalization of so-called same-gender marriages. To justify their rejection of God’s immutable laws that protect the family, these false prophets and false teachers even attack the inspired proclamation on the family issued to the world in 1995 by the First Presidency and the Twelve Apostles.

Regardless of which particular false doctrines they teach, false prophets and false teachers are an inevitable part of the last days. “False prophets,” according to the Prophet Joseph Smith, “always arise to oppose the true prophets” (Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, sel. Joseph Fielding Smith [1976], 365).

However, in the Lord’s Church there is no such thing as a “loyal opposition.” One is either for the kingdom of God and stands in defense of God’s prophets and apostles, or one stands opposed.

(Elder M. Russell Ballard, Beware of False Prophets and False Teachers, October 1999 General Conference) ↗

[Steve]

Betsy: I am also a moral relativist, which means that I do not take a black and white approach to codes of conduct.

And as Latter-day Saints we rely especially and entirely upon him for absolute truth. Although men deny this, they say there is no such thing as absolute truth, that all truth is relative. But we have learned, through the revelations of God, and taking them as a standard, that there is a great deal of false reasoning here. Truth is absolute in its nature.

(Elder George G. Bywater, June 4, 1882) ↗

Today we call Korihor’s philosophy moral relativism. ...

Secular humanists, who formally reject “traditional religious morality” and declare their reliance on “the tests of scientific evidence,” seem to fulfill a Book of Mormon prophecy of those “who live without God in the world” (Mosiah 27:31).

(Elder Dallin H. Oaks, Stand as Witnesses of God, February 25, 2014; url added) ↗

We need strong Christians who can make important things happen by their faith and who can defend the truth of Jesus Christ against moral relativism and militant atheism.

(Elder D. Todd Christofferson, The Power of Covenants, April 2009 General Conference) ↗

Betsy: I still honor and sustain the prophets.

[Lily]

It's taken me some time to get to this, my apologies. Firstly, I want to say how very grateful I am for my relationships with the people on this forum, on and offline. I love you deeply and cherish time when we are able to be together and how we help one another. You are my family and we are all in this for the long haul.

Next, I am puzzled by the attacks on Ian and Steve in their responses to Betsy's essay and opinions otherwise expressed and have sensed a litany of grievances that were born in the past but have creeped into this thread. It's unfortunate those things haven't been properly resolved, but I don't think it should bear as much weight as it has on the substantive points that have been made. Accusations of name-calling, public shaming, castigation, and pharisaical behavior are incorrect and excessively critical.

And that leads me to my final thoughts, which I've tried to base solely on the substance of what has been shared. I love you Betsy, I do I do!! We don't have to agree on things to love one another. But I disagree with some of the things shared and have felt the need to clarify my position on some of these issues, specifically (sorry for the laziness on the forum quotations):

1) Betsy, you are correct that there are some important philosophical distinctions within this family, but I would venture that your opinions outlined here that are contrary to the doctrines of modern prophets, marriage, and family, are more in line with the "popular viewpoints of our time" than those you are allegedly speaking out against.

2) I too believe in being obedient to the laws of the gospel as set forth by Jesus Christ when he was on the earth as well obedience to modern prophets and apostles. They are not contradictory. I am fully aware of some cultural fallacies among members of the church, along with my own, but the prophet will not lead us astray. I do not worship him or other church leaders when I seek out and follow their words. I honor and sustain the prophet and modern apostles through my obedience to their counsel which, though they are imperfect mortals, I take as if the Savior is teaching me directly. The Holy Ghost confirms to me personally that what they teach me is true, and I am immensely grateful for those personal confirmations I have sought after and received over time. I am not downplaying or disregarding questions, but have noticed that, for me, cheerfully acting in faith does eons more that cynically doubting.

3) I agree that discrimination is wrong. I do not believe the leaders of the church are discriminatory in action or word or policy. Rather, I find them to be inclusive and loving and helpful just as the Savior was. I think they take deliberate steps to ensure that all feel welcome and drawn to Jesus Christ. They have sacrificed more of their lives doing so than I have. These are men, but they have chosen to follow God. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is the Lord's church, and he loves his church. And he loves the leaders and members of his church. And he loves ALL people who have not joined his church, willfully or unwittingly or not yet or never. As Joy Jones mentioned in her general conference talk this past weekend, there is a difference between worth and worthiness.

4) I believe in progress and womanhood and manhood. "Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose" (The Family: A Proclamation to the World). I believe that there are differences between women and men, and that there is beauty in those differences and in Heavenly Father's eternal plan for families. Children are indeed blessings from God and are best served in a "nuclear" family. From my personal experience, the leaders of the church encourage, teach, and support all types of families and individuals, guiding us toward progression and sanctification. Certainly, most families today are not made up of a traditional father, mother, and children, but that does not mean that there is not a more excellent way. God's way is the more excellent way.

5) I too am anti-violence and believe in gun safety. I also believe in the rights and privileges laid out in the US Constitution and Bill of Rights. Freedom is based on the fundamental principle of agency.

6) I am not a moral relativist. I don't believe Jesus Christ was a moral relativist. Truth exists and I hope to be better at seeking it out and discerning it. I highly recommend THIS TALK given by Kevin Worthen at the beginning of this year.

7) I want to support every member of this family in their pursuit of truth and in increasing their faith in Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. I also want to help you see error where it lies and hope you likewise will help me when I am in error. I cannot save another family member from the "wrongness of their ways", only Christ can. My family is a safe place to make course corrections in my life. I appreciate acceptance and love, of course, but I also need encouragement and counsel and wisdom so I can make changes and become a better sister, daughter, wife, mother, aunt, etc. When I humbly receive such wisdom and even chastisement I will try to remember that I am no less accepted as your Lily or loved by you in the various ways that you express that love.

And thus it is.

[Tuly]

Thank you Lily for your thoughts and faith and also agree with many of your thoughts. And love you too very much.

Heavenly Father truly loves each of us equally and fully - Elder Paul E. Koelliker

[Steve]

It appears that Betsy has now blocked me on Facebook. This might not be a new development, as I am admittedly not on Facebook very much—this might be something that happened last year to be honest hehe—but I do hope that it's not indicative of any sort of adversarial rift or sense that I don't care about you, Betsy. Granted, I'm not all that concerned about the Facebook connection itself—you are of course welcome to associate with whomever you'd like—but I just hope it's not because you esteem me as your enemy.

Regardless, do as you feel comfortable. I just hope you know that I care about you and that God and family (which includes you) are my top priorities!