Pornography an epidemic

[Tuly]

I found this very depressing, but I know it' s true.

Study: Young adults now find porn more acceptable


By Kathleen Fackelmann, USA TODAY
College students, including young women, are far more accepting of pornography than their parents, a shift that might be related to easy access to porn on the Internet, a study reports today.

Most young women in the study said they personally did not use porn, but nearly half said viewing X-rated material was an acceptable way to express sexuality. Only 37% of the fathers and 20% of the mothers surveyed agreed.

The attitude of the young women and men in the study might be influenced by pornographic images that have proliferated on the Internet in the past 10 years, says Jeffrey Arnett, the editor of the Journal of Adolescent Research, which will publish the study in January.

In the 1980s, young adults had to go to a store and ask for the porn magazines, which often were kept behind the counter.

But Arnett says kids today are the first generation in which X-rated images can be pulled up with wireless technology from a handheld device.

"We're in an age of pocket porn," says study author Jason Carroll.

Carroll, a social sciences researcher at Brigham Young University, and his colleagues studied 813 college students from six schools across the USA. The students went online and answered questions about their views on pornography.

The researchers found that young men were much more likely to use pornography: 86% reported that they viewed such material in the past year. The study also found that one in five young men said they viewed pornographic material every day or nearly every day.

But only 31% of young women reported any viewing of pornography. Only 3.2% said they saw such material weekly or daily.

The gender differences in use and acceptance raise a lot of questions, Arnett says. For example, will the college students change their attitudes toward porn as they get older and form stable relationships? Young women who say they are tolerant of viewing Internet porn might not be so accepting of a spouse who's visiting an X-rated site every day, he says.

The study also linked regular porn use with risky behaviors, Carroll says. Regular porn users were more likely to go on drinking binges and more likely to have sex with multiple partners.

Additional studies must be done to determine whether frequent porn use leads to greater acceptance of such behavior, which can put students at risk for a host of health problems, such as alcoholism and sexually transmitted diseases, he says.

Children and teenagers are regularly bombarded with X-rated and suggestive images that imply that casual hook-ups are the norm, says Sabrina Weill, editor in chief of MomLogic, a website that helps mothers deal with a variety of parenting problems.

"It's really important for mothers to have a frank conversation with their kids," she says, because children who can talk openly to their parents are more likely to go on to make wise decisions in college.

[Tuly]

I attended a workshop called Confronting Pornography conducted by Dan Gray, who is a professional counselor. It was very instructional because it mainly dealt with parenting. He had an open and closed family systems list that I found very interesting.
Open Family System:
1. The family is open and flexible; change is welcomed.
2. Feelings are allowed and shared.
3. Individual differences are allowed and encouraged.
4. Mistakes are disciplined and forgiven.
5. Family and life roles are chosen by the individual.
6. The family system serves/exists for its members.
7. The family supports and develops the individual.

Closed Family System:
1. The family is closed, rigid, and secretive.
2. The family controls which feelings are allowed.
3. Individual identity is lost in the family identity.
4. Mistakes are punished, judged, and shamed.
5. Family roles are assigned by the family system.
6. The family member serves/exists for the family.
7. The family is more important than the individual.
Dan Gray, mentioned that most of his patients that have addictions come from closed family systems. His other important list was what emotional triggers provoke pornography -
Bored
Lonely
Angry
Stressed
Tired

[Tuly]

I found an article on how to protect our children from pornography. We were less than perfect in protecting our children from pornography and for that alone I deeply apologize. This comes ironically from a magazine I openly do not like - LDS Living.

http://www.ldsliving.com/story/76116-12 ... them/print

12 Ways Pornography Leaks Into Your Home (and How to Stop Them)
Collin Bishop - June 24, 2014

When I heard about a ward member's child who was exposed to pornography in the second grade, I suddenly became aware of all the ways pornography could leak into my home. Here's my list of 12 places to watch out for and how you can help shore up your walls against this modern plague.


A few weeks ago, my wife and I took our two young kids to a neighborhood party. When we arrived, we scouted the food, grabbed something tasty, and made our way over to a couple of neighbors we recognized from the ward.

After talking for a while, somehow the conversation turned to our kids and the schools in our area. Since our son is getting ready to enter the public education system, we discussed local preschools, favorite teachers, and the general atmosphere at the elementary school.

And that's when it happened.

Our neighbor (and fellow ward-member) told us the story of how her young boy (he's only in the second grade) was exposed to pornography.

Pornography… in the second grade.

My world stopped.

I looked over at my son and daughter. Two of the most precious people in my life. Two of the three most important things to me in the entire world. My thoughts raced. How was I going to protect them? How could I keep them from being exposed to such disgusting filth at such a young age? How could I keep them innocent for as long as possible?

As I've had a few weeks to recover from the initial shock of the moment, I realize it's impossible to put my children in a bubble and protect them from everything bad in the world (even though I plan to try my hardest for as long as I can).

But I can make a plan to keep pornography out of my home.

As Sister Reeves reminded us last conference:

"Pornography is more vile, evil, and graphic than ever before. As we counsel with our children, together we can create a family plan with standards and boundaries, being proactive to protect our homes with filters on electronic devices."

In this article, you'll find 12 ways pornography may be leaking into your home without you even knowing it. We've also included a few recommendations on how to fix any leak that may be causing spiritual damage to your family.
1. Mobile Devices

One of the most common culprits of bringing pornography into your home undetected is through mobile devices. While many families have web filters installed on their home computers, filtering software for tablets and phones is much less common.

How to fix the leak:

Instead of using web filters that are only installed on your family computer, try installing filters at the entry-point into your home. A quick google search will reward you with thousands of options for routers (filtering any and all internet devices in your home) and other similar options. If your family uses Apple devices, be sure to check out this article about how to set up parental controls on iPhones, iPads, and other Apple devices.
2. YouTube Ads and Related Videos

Even though Google (the owner of YouTube) has recently announced they will no longer allow pornographic ads on their ad services, we've yet to discover what they deem "pornographic." Much of the time, even the related videos in the sidebar on YouTube.com can get a little dicey.

How to fix the leak:

There are lots of options for removing related videos on YouTube. One widely accepted option (10 million+ users) is AdBlock Plus which not only turns off related videos, but also filters out ads and other content that may be questionable.
3. Shopping Catalogs

Believe it or not, direct mailers landing in your physical mail box can be a common (if less obvious) way for family members to get access to pornography. Although the content in a shopping catalog may not be deemed "explicit," it can be a gateway to more hardcore pornography.

How to fix the leak:

Try using an anti-spam service like 41pounds.org for your physical mailbox. There are a handful of services out there that will actually help you unsubscribe from physical mailing services. Most of these services are marketed under the premise of saving the environment, but they can be used to protect your family from pornography as well.
4. Previews & Deleted Scenes in Your DVD collection

Have you ever noticed that little disclaimer at the beginning of your DVDs? It reads something like this: "bonus features and deleted scenes, not rated."

That's right. Just because your teen is watching a movie rated PG or PG-13 by the MPAA doesn't mean the additional content found on the same disc isn't potentially R-rated or worse.

How to fix the leak:

Filtering DVD content has been a hard-to-reach goal for anti-pornography organizations for years. While some have made incredible strides in filtering and editing content on a DVD, they face a major challenge: the film industry holds copyright to films which gives them the "exclusive rights" to alter their own movies.

So what should we do until Hollywood and filtering DVD players can find middle ground? Try tossing out your bonus features discs (most people don't use them anyway) and teaching your children about the dangers of unrated bonus content.
5. Netflix, Hulu+, etc. accounts

We don't have cable anymore at my house. Which means we avoid a lot of filth on cable and satellite TV. But it also means that we have signed up for Netflix, Hulu+, and Amazon Prime which potentially bring a lot of filth back into our home. Plus the addition of technology like AppleTV, Google Chromecast, and Amazon FireTV (all of which allow you to stream content from the web right to your TV) make it all-too-easy to watch something you shouldn't.

How to fix the leak:

The first option is easy: unsubscribe to these services. If it's not available, then your family can't watch it (accidentally or on purpose). If you want to still use services like Netflix or Hulu+, look into their filters and kid-friendly channels. Hulu has parental controls and so does Netflix. Take the extra time to set up filters and controls to keep your family safe.
6. TV Commercials

Watching primetime television can be a risky proposition. Even when the content is family friendly, the advertisements that show up every 7-10 minutes can pose a threat of unintentional exposure to content you simply don't want in your home.

How to fix the leak:

Again, there are a couple of options. First, you could simply not watch television. But a more realistic approach would be to turn the TV off or change the channel during commercial breaks, or avoid watching shows on live TV in the first place. Using a service like TiVo to pre-record shows and skip commercials lets you control what you watch. Alternatively, you could watch shows online assuming you've applied other precautions from tips 2 & 5 in this article.
7. Kids' friends and schoolmates

Now we get into difficult territory: friends. What do you do when one of your child's schoolmates exposes your son or daughter to pornography? You can't simply buy a friend filter. You can't just lock up your child (even if you want to sometimes) and keep them away from those kids.

How to fix the leak:

With the growing ease with which kids can share content with each other (think social media, texting, and other mobile apps mentioned in #12), there's a greater need than ever to teach your children correct principles about making friends, standing up for what's right, and having the courage to walk away from a bad situation (even when "walking away" means closing a browser window).
8. Mobile Game Ads

I'm not a big mobile gamer. But I've admittedly played my share of Angry Birds, 2048, Candy Crush and the like. I'm appalled by some of the ads that pop up on my game. In what world does an ad with a half-dressed woman (cartoon or otherwise) make sense on a game for kids?

How to fix the leak:

Aside from ad-blockers (there are mobile versions of the software mentioned in tip #2), another great way to reduce the chance of seeing ads during games is to put your mobile phone in airplane mode. This cuts off access to the internet (which most ads need in order to load properly) and allows you (or your kids) to play games without inappropriate interruptions.
9. Music and Album Art

Pandora, Grooveshark, Spotify, and the never-ending list of music apps are a great way for you and your family to discover and enjoy new music. But what happens when discovering new music goes sour? Depending on your listening habits, you may eventually find yourself with inappropriate artwork or lyrics showing up on your screen without asking for it.

How to fix the leak:

Be vigilant when it comes to telling services like Pandora what you do and do not like in terms of music and lyrics. Adjust your user settings. Click the "thumbs down" button when inappropriate music comes on. These kinds of measures will reduce the risk of being exposed to the wrong kind of music.
10. Video games

Even video games that seem harmless may have dangerous or inappropriate content inside. Racing games are notorious for animations of scantily clad women. Fantasy/Sci-Fi games may portray sexual activity. Regardless of the genre, it's important to be careful which games we allow in our homes.

How to fix the leak:

First, be smart about which games you let your children play. Use the ESRB rating system ("E for Everyone," "T for Teen," etc.), but be sure to use it wisely. Even a Teen rating on a game may not be suitable for teens in your home as they "May contain violence, suggestive themes, crude humor, minimal blood, simulated gambling and/or infrequent use of strong language." Even the "E 10+" rating (ok for everyone older than 10) mentions there may be "minimal suggestive themes."

Additionally, sit down and play the games with your kids, or at least watch them play and make sure the game complies with your family standards.

11. Books

With all the talk of technology, mobile apps, YouTube videos, and online streaming, it can be easy for us to forget about one of the oldest culprits of leaking pornography into our homes: books.

Mostly, books are meant to be cherished. Reading should be encouraged. What parent wouldn't rather see their kid cuddled up on the couch with a quality book than playing games on their phone or gaming console? But now and again, books may contain material that's simply not appropriate for your family.

How to fix the leak:

Avoid and teach your family to avoid novels with questionable artwork on the cover. Take time to read reviews for books your children are interested in before buying the book or checking it out from the library. Teach your children what to do if they start reading something they feel uncomfortable with. Remember, just because there are no pictures doesn't mean something can't be pornographic in nature.
12. Apps like SnapChat, Gaggle, and more

A few weeks ago, we covered "7 Risky Apps All Parents Should Know About." The list of dangerous apps is always growing and changing and it's important to know what your family is using on their mobile devices, why, and how often.

How to fix the leak:

Encourage your kids to be open and honest with you about what apps they use on their phones or tablets. Have a "no secret password" policy in your family where your family members either forego the use of passwords on their devices or share their passwords with you, the parent.

From time to time, take an inventory of which apps your family members have downloaded, what they seem to spend most time on, and what the purpose or content of the app entails. If necessary, use a service like KytePhone which allows you to set time limits, block calls from strangers, and more.
A HUGE disclaimer

At the end of the day, there's no perfect way to protect our families from the growing pornographic content found on the internet and through all the channels listed in this article.

The most important thing you can do is to teach your family important values and gospel principles they can use to make smart decisions. As Sister Reeves taught in her conference address, "The greatest filter in the world, the only one that will ultimately work, is the personal internal filter that comes from a deep and abiding testimony of our Heavenly Father's love and our Savior's atoning sacrifice for each one of us."

I'm sad that my son will most likely (according to statistics) be exposed to pornography before he's even old enough to pass the Sacrament. At times, I'm angry that we live in a world where I have to fend off evil content and actively work to keep it out of my home.

I am, however, confident that as families (mine included) work hard to live the Gospel of Jesus Christ, love each other, and make their home a place where the Spirit of the Lord can dwell, our Heavenly Father will bless us and protect us from the evils of the world.

If we do our part, I am certain He will do His.

[Tuly]

I found this article informative and hopeful. The complete talk mentions worth, this reminded me of the talk by Sister Joy D. Jones - Value Beyond Measure
https://www.lds.org/general-conference/ ... e?lang=eng

Let me point out the need to differentiate between two critical words: worth and worthiness. They are not the same. Spiritual worth means to value ourselves the way Heavenly Father values us, not as the world values us. Our worth was determined before we ever came to this earth. “God’s love is infinite and it will endure forever.”3

On the other hand, worthiness is achieved through obedience. If we sin, we are less worthy, but we are never worth less! We continue to repent and strive to be like Jesus with our worth intact. As President Brigham Young taught: “The least, the most inferior spirit now upon the earth … is worth worlds.”4 No matter what, we always have worth in the eyes of our Heavenly Father.

https://ldsmediatalk.com/2018/04/10/3-w ... paign=Feed

3 Ways LDS Parents & Leaders Can Help Kids Who Have Seen Pornography
by Larry Richman | Apr 10, 2018 | 0 comments


The article “3 Ways LDS Leaders Can Help Kids Who Have Seen Pornography” in Leading LDS gives great counsel on how parents and leaders can help teens. Here are some key points from the article:

Help teens recognize the feelings, thoughts, and environments that trigger pornography use. Once a youth understands their triggers, they may need assistance making a plan for what new action they will take when these triggers arise. What will they do when they have the desire to watch porn? How can they channel those uncomfortable feelings into a new action?
Pornography teaches false sexuality and false relationships. Parents need to teach about true sexuality and help their teens build skills to develop true relationships.
For more information:

Read the whole article “3 Ways LDS Leaders Can Help Kids Who Have Seen Pornography” at Leading LDS.
Read other articles about pornography at LDS Media Talk.
See a list of resources in overcoming pornography.