How did you do it?

[Tuly]

Believe it or not Emma is going to be a freshman in high school this fall. To help her, I want to know how you all became such good students, please be specific. I know it wasn't luck.

[Steve]

1) Just like nearly everything in this life, I think it begins with attitude and desire. How badly do you want to accomplish your goals? If the grade is important to you, how badly do you want to get an 'A'? If you are hoping to be able to retain knowledge and learning, what are you willing to do to make that possible, and more importantly, what are you willing to give up? I think the majority of people think they want to do well and they have moments where they say they'll choose to do what it takes. Eventually, these same people reach the moments of truth, so to speak, when they must decide between, say, a movie and dedicating an additional hour to their studies. More often than not, their priorities shift in those moments of decision. That's one of the reasons why conference addresses always talk about making your decisions beforehand. If your goal is to be a good student, you have to decide now that no matter what, you will do what it takes and give up those things that would stand in your way.

2) That said, the reverse is also true. Is an 'A' the most important thing? Are you willing to give up study time to make room for scripture study and church activities? There are going to be students without these same time constraints who will have an apparent "time" advantage. However, the Lord blesses those who put their faith in Him and arrange their schedules so that the important things aren't missed. Furthermore, it's also important to have a social life and spend time with the family. Balance is absolutely key, but it's also one of those things that you spend a lifetime trying to get right. Pray for guidance in this regard.

3) Recognize that you have been blessed with strengths and weaknesses. Those around you have been blessed with the same. You will find that some things come more easily to your understanding than they do for others. You'll also discover that the opposite is true: some subjects are hard! Don't fret. Read Jeremiah 32:26-27, and remember that if you want to do better, you can. Heavenly Father didn't send you down here to fail. And He didn't send you down here because you already knew everything. We're here to learn and we can learn if we choose to. Some things will be harder than others. But the Lord himself said: "And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them" (Ether 12:27). That's a fact, Jack.

4) As far as practical tips are concerned, here's a few things that have helped me:

• I read a lot. This seems like a no-brainer, but reading is great for a number of reasons. It familiarizes me with good writing and correct spelling. When I write, thousands of pages are floating around in my head, and when I'm trying to spell a word, I can remember seeing it frequently in texts. Reading also helps exercise the brain and gives us better skills in nearly every field (since essentially we perform similar analysis in every subject).
• Plan your time. Schedule a set minimum for each subject. If you have extra time in a block, get ahead in your reading or go over the material one more time. Catching up is miserable. Being on top of stuff makes you feel like a million dollars.
• Get help. Do not be afraid or ashamed to ask your teachers for help. They're teachers! They want you to do well. Don't leave school with a bunch of questions...talk to the teacher after class and arrange time when you can get help.
• Make sure you know the teacher's expectations. No teachers are exactly the same. You may find that a technique used to do well in one class does not work for all of them. Approach the teacher and find out what else you could do if you are not getting the results you expected.
• Choose your friends carefully. Do your friends want you to succeed? Or are your friends under a "crab mentality" (see Wikipedia's definition)? True friends will help you to do better in school, not worse. Do the same for them.
• Enjoy learning. Intelligence is one of those things you carry with you for eternity. Unlike other investments, learning actually is worth your time. Embrace the challenge!

Last of all, it's probably good to realize that there is no single formula that works for everybody. You don't have to compare yourself with others. The only opinions that matter are your Heavenly Father's and your own. Make those two happy, and you've got it made.

Good luck, Emma. You're a smart, beautiful girl with a family that loves you. There's no end to what you can do. And if you ever need help, you've got many, many people who are standing by at a moment's notice. Rock on, Miss Huntington. Rock on.

[Betsy]

I think people are intimidated to respond to this thread after such a treatise by mr. mott. But I will say I agree with everything he says!

[Tuly]

Thank you Steve for your incredible advice. May i add to your suggestion on reading. We are adviced in the scriptures to read out of 'the best books' - I know too many who think that as long as a child reads it doesn't matter what the content is. We do need to be selective of what we read.

[Steve]

Yeah, absolutely true. Sometimes it's a tough call though, because when all is said and done, who is the judge of which books are the best? Some books were written purely for entertainment. Some books were written to educate. Some books were written to change public policy. Some were just written to make money. There are "best" books in each of these categories (and others). Like most activities, I suppose you have to rely on the Spirit to know if what you're reading is good.

At any rate, there are so many recommended classics, it'd probably take a long time before you reached a point where you were reading blindly whatever you could find.

[Aunt Betsy]

"I want to know how you all became such good students.... I know it wasn't luck."

As somewhat of an "outsider" allow me to say that I too know it wasn't luck. It was largely the help, support, and nurturing of terrific parents. All you "kids" have good hearts, fine minds, and multiple talents, and you have very admirably chosen to take up the challenge of education and use the tools available to you. At the same time, your parents' vision and love has shown you that achievement is possible and that you can make your way through to what you need to do. Many many bright and able children struggle with finding that faith and confidence.

[Tuly]

Thanks Aunt Betsy. By the way

[Huntington Tracy]

Amen to Steve. Wow, Emma, high school already. How is that possible? You'll do wonderfully; how could you not?

I'm afraid I'm not the stellar example of diligence--my school career has been mostly marked by only studying the things I already knew I was interested in. At least my love of learning has come through 24 grades still untarnished.

Zina was telling us how Isaac, pretty much on his own initiative, comes home from school each day and as a matter of course the first thing he does is whatever new homework has been assigned that day. I can only imagine how it would have helped me to have learned an approach like that--and he's only in 4th grade.

[Aunt Betsy]

I just read SUCH A GOOD BOOK!! You've probably heard the title: Einstein Never Used Flash Cards. The authors were students of Elkind who wrote The Hurried Child. I honestly think every parent or parent-to-be should read this useful useful book.

[Tuly]

Wow! thanks Aunt Betsy, I love Elkind. I will definitely get that book.

[Tuly]

I have been pondering how some of us have the will to do things that we very much have no motivation to do or are just afraid to do. Per example, a class in school that we have no interest in, a job interview, task at home that we dread doing. You have all been there - how did you do it?

[Edward]

"Love, Harry. Love."