Mothers Who Know

[Tuly]

This comes from a website that I find very disturbing, and feel it does NOT represent me in any way. So in effect I' m posting this to voice my feelings of disapproval.


In October 2007, Julie B. Beck, president of the Latter-day Saint women's organization, the Relief Society, gave a speech in the semiannual worldwide General Conference titled “Mothers Who Know.” Beck's focus on LDS families, and more particularly on the role and influence of mothers, is a subject close to our hearts.

Who are we? We are women who differ in age, income, race/ethnicity, and marital status. Many of us are mothers, some with exceptionally large families. Some of us are grandmothers and great-grandmothers many times over. Some are young mothers, with infants and elementary-age children. Others of us—for reasons of biology, opportunity, or choice—do not have children. Some of us have never married. Some of us are single because of divorce or widowhood. A few of us have been with the same partner more than 50 years. We all work—paid or unpaid, both inside and outside our homes. We share many decades of church service among us. In fact, our LDS background is our common denominator.

Several ideas within the body of President Beck's talk conflict with our inspiration and experience. We are authors of our own lives, and this is the story we know to be true:


What Women Know


Fathers as well as mothers, men as well as women, are called to nurture. Nurturing is not confined to mothering or housekeeping, but is a universal attribute that communicates patience, peacefulness, and care.

Individuals and relationships flourish when we are able to share not only our strengths but also our mutual imperfections and needs. It is difficult to be compassionate with ourselves and others when we internalize injunctions to perform (e.g., “the highest-performing sister missionary,” “the best homemaker in the world,” “the most patient and loving mother”). Motherhood and sisterhood cannot be reduced to the performance of narrowly-prescribed tasks, but emerge from who we know ourselves to be.

Cleanliness depends upon access to resources and has more to do with priorities than purity of heart. We do not place the additional burden of “outward appearances” on our sisters who are hauling fuel and water long distances; who are struggling with poverty, isolation, or ill health; or who choose values that take precedence over orderly living quarters and polished looks.

Housework is something that grownups do and that children learn by example and instruction. Unfortunately, women and girls still perform the bulk of the world's low-paid and unpaid labor, including housework—often at the expense of their own education, leadership, creativity, health, and well-being. Men and boys who share care-work and household responsibilities make it possible for all family members to live happier, more fulfilling lives.

We reverence the responsibility to choose how, when, and whether we become parents. Many of us have adoptive and foster children and grandchildren from diverse ethnicities and cultures. We have given birth to children who range widely on every dimension—from personality, appearance, and sexual identity to physical, social, and mental ability. No matter what their differences, we care for them all.

Effective parenting is a learned behavior, and, as parents, we learn and grow with each child. Children come with their own gifts, challenges, and freedom of choice. We reject teachings that encourage women to shoulder ultimate responsibility for every aspect of child-rearing and family life, and to take on shame and guilt when things do not go according to plan.

The choice to have children does not rule out other avenues of influence and power. By valuing ourselves as lifelong achievers, apart from our roles as mothers, friends, partners, sisters, aunts, and grandmothers, we stand for creativity, public service, competence, and growth. We take joy in the collective contributions we make in the fields of government, medicine, academia, law, journalism, human services, business, art, health care advocacy, music, technology, child development, and science.

When it comes to employment, most women prefer the luxury of choice to the limitations of necessity. Women-friendly policies such as flex-time and comparable pay for women and men, access to health care, family leave for births and care-work, and affordable, high-quality childcare give all of us—single or partnered, impoverished or privileged—greater choice in how to support ourselves and our families.

We work because we want to; because we need to; and because we have no other choice. We know that “children are more important than possessions, position, and prestige.” Some of us have been thrust into the position of sole economic support of our children through desertion, divorce, domestic violence, or death. Indeed, too many of us have learned that we are just one fully-employed male away from poverty.

Men are our fathers, sons, brothers, partners, lovers, and friends. Many of them also struggle within a system that equates leadership with hierarchy and domination. We distrust separate-but-equal rhetoric; anyone who is regularly reminded that she is “equally important” is probably not. Partnership is illusory without equal decision-making power.

We have discovered that healthy relationships are equitable relationships. A relationship that is balanced in terms of economic and emotional power is safer and more resilient than a relationship in which one partner holds most or all of the power. Women with active support networks and marketable skills have greater options, not only in relationships, but in life.

We claim the life-affirming powers of spirit and wisdom, and reject the glorification of violence in all its forms. We are filled with unutterable sadness by the Book of Mormon story of more than 2,000 young soldiers whose mothers teach them that faith in God will preserve them in battles in which they kill other mothers' children. This is not a success story. It is a story of the failure of human relationships and the horrors of war. In a world that has grown increasingly violent, we believe that one of the most important passages in LDS scripture is D&C 98:16: “Therefore, renounce war and proclaim peace. . . .”

Our roles as mothers, sisters, daughters, partners, and friends are just a few of the many parts we will play in the course of our lives. We may influence hundreds, perhaps thousands of lives. But we are not our roles. We are created in the image of the divine—people of worth in our own right, in our choices, in our individuality, and in our belief that the life story we are ultimately responsible for is our own

[Ann]

Wow. To be brief due to lack of time right now, I will just say that I guess there may be a few comments I agree with, many that I disagree with, and that I disagree with the overall tone or spirit of this article. I will elaborate later. Wasn't there some sort of petition for signatures attached with this article? I must say that I have met LDS women who would probably side with many of these comments, but I hope that those who read this article know that this, in my opinion and experience, does not represent all or even a majority of LDS women. Rather it is a minority and more likely a very few who produced and would agree with this article.

[Tuly]

Correct there was a petition that went with that statement. I am posting Sister Beck's talk Mothers Who Know.

Mothers Who Know

Julie B. Beck
Relief Society General President


There is eternal influence and power in motherhood.


In the Book of Mormon we read about 2,000 exemplary young men who were exceedingly valiant, courageous, and strong. “Yea, they were men of truth and soberness, for they had been taught to keep the commandments of God and to walk uprightly before him” (Alma 53:21). These faithful young men paid tribute to their mothers. They said, “Our mothers knew it” (Alma 56:48). I would suspect that the mothers of Captain Moroni, Mosiah, Mormon, and other great leaders also knew.

The responsibility mothers have today has never required more vigilance. More than at any time in the history of the world, we need mothers who know. Children are being born into a world where they “wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places” (Ephesians 6:12).1 However, mothers need not fear. When mothers know who they are and who God is and have made covenants with Him, they will have great power and influence for good on their children.
Mothers Who Know Bear Children

Mothers who know desire to bear children. Whereas in many cultures in the world children are “becoming less valued,”2 in the culture of the gospel we still believe in having children. Prophets, seers, and revelators who were sustained at this conference have declared that “God’s commandment for His children to multiply and replenish the earth remains in force.”3 President Ezra Taft Benson taught that young couples should not postpone having children and that “in the eternal perspective, children—not possessions, not position, not prestige—are our greatest jewels.”4

Faithful daughters of God desire children. In the scriptures we read of Eve (see Moses 4:26), Sarah (see Genesis 17:16), Rebekah (see Genesis 24:60), and Mary (see 1 Nephi 11:13–20), who were foreordained to be mothers before children were born to them. Some women are not given the responsibility of bearing children in mortality, but just as Hannah of the Old Testament prayed fervently for her child (see 1 Samuel 1:11), the value women place on motherhood in this life and the attributes of motherhood they attain here will rise with them in the Resurrection (see D&C 130:18). Women who desire and work toward that blessing in this life are promised they will receive it for all eternity, and eternity is much, much longer than mortality. There is eternal influence and power in motherhood.
Mothers Who Know Honor Sacred Ordinances and Covenants

Mothers who know honor sacred ordinances and covenants. I have visited sacrament meetings in some of the poorest places on the earth where mothers have dressed with great care in their Sunday best despite walking for miles on dusty streets and using worn-out public transportation. They bring daughters in clean and ironed dresses with hair brushed to perfection; their sons wear white shirts and ties and have missionary haircuts. These mothers know they are going to sacrament meeting, where covenants are renewed. These mothers have made and honor temple covenants. They know that if they are not pointing their children to the temple, they are not pointing them toward desired eternal goals. These mothers have influence and power.
Mothers Who Know Are Nurturers

Mothers who know are nurturers. This is their special assignment and role under the plan of happiness.5 To nurture means to cultivate, care for, and make grow. Therefore, mothers who know create a climate for spiritual and temporal growth in their homes. Another word for nurturing is homemaking. Homemaking includes cooking, washing clothes and dishes, and keeping an orderly home. Home is where women have the most power and influence; therefore, Latter-day Saint women should be the best homemakers in the world. Working beside children in homemaking tasks creates opportunities to teach and model qualities children should emulate. Nurturing mothers are knowledgeable, but all the education women attain will avail them nothing if they do not have the skill to make a home that creates a climate for spiritual growth. Growth happens best in a “house of order,” and women should pattern their homes after the Lord’s house (see D&C 109). Nurturing requires organization, patience, love, and work. Helping growth occur through nurturing is truly a powerful and influential role bestowed on women.
Mothers Who Know Are Leaders

Mothers who know are leaders. In equal partnership with their husbands, they lead a great and eternal organization. These mothers plan for the future of their organization. They plan for missions, temple marriages, and education. They plan for prayer, scripture study, and family home evening. Mothers who know build children into future leaders and are the primary examples of what leaders look like. They do not abandon their plan by succumbing to social pressure and worldly models of parenting. These wise mothers who know are selective about their own activities and involvement to conserve their limited strength in order to maximize their influence where it matters most.
Mothers Who Know Are Teachers

Mothers who know are always teachers. Since they are not babysitters, they are never off duty. A well-taught friend told me that he did not learn anything at church that he had not already learned at home. His parents used family scripture study, prayer, family home evening, mealtimes, and other gatherings to teach. Think of the power of our future missionary force if mothers considered their homes as a pre–missionary training center. Then the doctrines of the gospel taught in the MTC would be a review and not a revelation. That is influence; that is power.
Mothers Who Know Do Less

Mothers who know do less. They permit less of what will not bear good fruit eternally. They allow less media in their homes, less distraction, less activity that draws their children away from their home. Mothers who know are willing to live on less and consume less of the world’s goods in order to spend more time with their children—more time eating together, more time working together, more time reading together, more time talking, laughing, singing, and exemplifying. These mothers choose carefully and do not try to choose it all. Their goal is to prepare a rising generation of children who will take the gospel of Jesus Christ into the entire world. Their goal is to prepare future fathers and mothers who will be builders of the Lord’s kingdom for the next 50 years. That is influence; that is power.
Mothers Who Know Stand Strong and Immovable

Who will prepare this righteous generation of sons and daughters? Latter-day Saint women will do this—women who know and love the Lord and bear testimony of Him, women who are strong and immovable and who do not give up during difficult and discouraging times. We are led by an inspired prophet of God who has called upon the women of the Church to “stand strong and immovable for that which is correct and proper under the plan of the Lord.”6 He has asked us to “begin in [our] own homes”7 to teach children the ways of truth. Latter-day Saint women should be the very best in the world at upholding, nurturing, and protecting families. I have every confidence that our women will do this and will come to be known as mothers who “knew” (Alma 56:48). In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

[Ian]

here is the link to the website mom is talking about:

http://www.whatwomenknow.org/

another website has been created, but this one is in support of julie beck's talk:

http://motherswhoknow.org/

[Edward]

That list is, simply put, apostate at its core. It's not trying to say what women know, but what they (some of them) want--they only want to lead their lives and have their material success without the burden of a church telling them what their priorities should be. It celebrates the exception and tries to make it the norm, and totally rejects the traditional and righteous roles of women in the world and in Heavenly Father's plan.

When it comes to employment, most women prefer the luxury of choice to the limitations of necessity. Women-friendly policies such as flex-time and comparable pay for women and men, access to health care, family leave for births and care-work, and affordable, high-quality childcare give all of us—single or partnered, impoverished or privileged—greater choice in how to support ourselves and our families.

How deceptively worded! So they want equal rights, and yet also demand privileges? How utterly selfish. And how manipulative is the wording--the luxury of choice vs. the limitations of necessity. That ONLY means that they want the church to sanction women in the workplace because they choose to be, and not only when it becomes a necessity. It strikes at the very core of the Proclamation to the World and the Father's plan--our homes need mothers--that is a necessity.

We reverence the responsibility to choose how, when, and whether we become parents.

False doctrine. It's not a 'responsibility to choose." It's a commandment, the first commandment given to mankind. Those who are married and are physically able have been commanded to have children. Bearing children is not a matter of preference, nor is the timing a matter of personal, professional, or planned convenience. It's a matter of obedience. Are there exceptions? Few. And none of them are ever because of careers, education, or even because of just not wanting to. And why should they be? Why would a couple deny God's greatest blessing in their lives? Can he possibly bless a marriage with anything greater than children?

We distrust separate-but-equal rhetoric; anyone who is regularly reminded that she is “equally important” is probably not. Partnership is illusory without equal decision-making power.

This is a direct attack on the Proclamation to the World, and thus, on God himself. The roles of men and women ARE separate and equal, but these women refuse to recognize the woman at home as being anything but caged, confined, and oppressed. Because it cannot grant them money, power, prestige, or wealth, they will never accept the life of a real mother--and so they will never grasp that half of Heavenly Father's plan. They only see this world and it's potential, and reject the eternal potential to which only a real mother can aspire.

We are filled with unutterable sadness by the Book of Mormon story of more than 2,000 young soldiers whose mothers teach them that faith in God will preserve them in battles in which they kill other mothers' children. This is not a success story. It is a story of the failure of human relationships and the horrors of war.

This is pure heresy. Do they know nothing about the Book of Mormon at all? This is the most powerful indicator of people who's lives are so protected, so wealthy, and so utterly free of pain that they have idea, not even the capacity to comprehend what it means to be oppressed. Have they no clue what war means? That the Lamanites came to kill them out of hatred and an actual love of violence? This was no conflict where the Nephites should have just talked to them. They would have been cut down where they stood. What if God had not fought the war in Heaven? What if he had let Satan do his thing and not resisted? And what would happen if, and the Second Coming, the Savior did not defeat the enemies of his people?

Their misunderstanding of scripture and doctrine is so monumental that I could go on for years. However, there is no need to, as it's really just another drop in the oceans of human error. I even hate seeing that thing posted here. It's like a stain on our family's site, an apostate blade honeyed with obvious generalities and truths that protect it from any angry retort. What a terrible, pernicious document.

[Ian]

i wonder if the petition-signers are aware of what modern-day prophets have said about parenthood.

Brigham Young:

There are multitudes of pure and holy spirits waiting to take tabernacles, now what is our duty?—To prepare tabernacles for them; to take a course that will not tend to drive those spirits into the families of the wicked, where they will be trained in wickedness, debauchery, and every species of crime. It is the duty of every righteous man and woman to prepare tabernacles for all the spirits they can.

Joseph F. Smith:

I regret, I think it is a crying evil, that there should exist a sentiment or a feeling among any members of the Church to curtail the birth of their children. I think that is a crime wherever it occurs, where husband and wife are in possession of health and vigor and are free from impurities that would be entailed upon their posterity. I believe that where people undertake to curtail or prevent the birth of their children that they are going to reap disappointment by and by. I have no hesitancy in saying that I believe this is one of the greatest crimes of the world today, this evil practice.

Joseph F. Smith:

Those who have taken upon themselves the responsibility of wedded life should see to it that they do not abuse the course of nature; that they do not destroy the principle of life within them, nor violate any of the commandments of God. The command which he gave in the beginning to multiply and replenish the earth is still in force upon the children of men. Possibly no greater sin could be committed by the people who have embraced this gospel than to prevent or to destroy life in the manner indicated. We are born into the world that we may have life, and we live that we may have a fulness of joy, and if we will obtain a fulness of joy, we must obey the law of our creation and the law by which we may obtain the consummation of our righteous hopes and desires—eternal life.

David O. McKay:

When the husband and wife are healthy, and free from inherited weaknesses and diseases that might be transmitted with injury to their offspring the use of contraceptives is to be condemned.

Letter from the First Presidency, on April 14, 1969:

We seriously regret that there should exist a sentiment or feeling among any members of the Church to curtail the birth of their children. We have been commanded to multiply and replenish the earth that we may have joy and rejoicing in our posterity.

Where husband and wife enjoy health and vigor and are free from impurities that would be entailed upon their posterity, it is contrary to the teachings of the Church artificially to curtail or prevent the birth of children. We believe that those who practice birth control will reap disappointment by and by.

Joseph Fielding Smith:

When a man and a woman are married and they agree, or covenant, to limit their offspring to two or three, and practice devices to accomplish this purpose, they are guilty of iniquity which eventually must be punished. Unfortunately this evil doctrine is being taught as a virtue by many people who consider themselves cultured and highly educated. It has even crept in among members of the Church and has been advocated in some of the classes within the Church.

It should be understood definitely that this kind of doctrine is not only not advocated by the authorities of the Church, but also is condemned by them as wickedness in the sight of the Lord.

Joseph Fielding Smith:

When young people marry and refuse to fulfill this commandment given in the beginning of the world—and just as much in force today—they rob themselves of the greatest eternal blessing. If the love of the world and the wicked practices of the world mean more to a man and a woman than to keep the commandment of the Lord in this respect, then they shut themselves off from the eternal blessing of increase. Those who willfully and maliciously design to break this important commandment shall be damned. They cannot have the Spirit of the Lord.

Joseph Fielding Smith:

Small families is the rule today. Husband and wives refuse to take upon themselves the responsibilities of family life. Many of them do not care to be bothered with children. Yet this commandment given to Adam has never been abrogated or set aside. If we refuse to live by the covenants we make, especially in the house of the Lord, then we cannot receive the blessings of those covenants in eternity. If the responsibilities of parenthood are willfully avoided here, then how can the Lord bestow upon the guilty the blessings of eternal increase? It cannot be, and they shall be denied such blessings.

Harold B. Lee:

[W]e declare it is a grievous sin before God to adopt restrictive measures in disobedience to God's divine command from the beginning of time to "multiply and replenish the earth." Surely those who project such measures to prevent life or to destroy life before or after birth will reap the whirlwind of God's retribution, for God will not be mocked.

Spencer W. Kimball:

You did not come on earth just to “eat, drink and be merry.” You came knowing full well your responsibilities. You came to get for yourself a mortal body that could become perfected, immortalized, and you understood that you were to act in partnership with God in providing bodies for other spirits equally anxious to come to the earth for righteous purposes. And so you will not postpone parenthood. There will be rationalists who will name to you numerous reasons for postponement. Of course, it will be harder to get your college degrees or your financial start with a family, but strength like yours will be undaunted in the face of difficult obstacles. Have your family as the Lord intended. Of course it is expensive, but you will find a way, and besides, it is often those children who grow up with responsibility and hardships who carry on the world’s work. And, John and Mary, do not limit your family as the world does. I am wondering now where I might have been had my parents decided arbitrarily that one or two children would be enough, or that three or four would be all they could support, or that even five would be the limit; for I was the sixth of eleven children. Don’t think you will love the later ones less or have few material things for them. Perhaps like Jacob, you might love the eleventh one most. Young people, have your family, love them, sacrifice for them, teach them righteousness, and you will be blessed and happy all the days of your eternal lives.

Spencer W. Kimball:

Supreme happiness in marriage is governed considerably by a primary factor-that of the bearing and rearing of children. Too many young people set their minds, determining that they will not marry or have children until they are more secure, until the military service period is over; until the college degree is secured; until the occupation is more well-defined; until the debts are paid; or until it is more convenient. They have forgotten that the first commandment is to 'be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it.' ( Genesis 1:28 ) And so brides continue their employment and husbands encourage it, and contraceptives are used to prevent conception. Relatives and friends and even mothers sometimes encourage birth control for their young newlyweds. But the excuses are many, mostly weak. The wife is not robust; the family budget will not feed extra mouths; or the expense of the doctor, hospital, and other incidentals is too great; it will disturb social life; it would prevent two salaries; and so abnormal living prevents the birth of children. The Church cannot approve nor condone the measures which so greatly limit the family.

Spencer W. Kimball:

How do you think that the Lord looks upon those who use the contraceptives because in their selfish life it is not the convenient moment to bear children? How do you feel the Lord looks upon those who would trade flesh-and-blood children for pianos or television or furniture or an automobile, and is this not actually the case when people will buy these luxuries and yet cannot afford to have their children? Are there not numerous people who first buy the luxury article and then find they cannot pay the doctor or a hospital bill incident to childbirth? How do you think the Lord feels about women who forego the pleasures and glories of motherhood that they might retain their figures, that their social life might not be affected, that they might avoid the deprivations, pains, and agonies of childbearing and berthing? How do you think the Lord feels as he views healthy parents who could have children but who deliberately close the doors by operation or by contraceptives, close the doors upon spirits eager to enter into mortal bodies?

Spencer W. Kimball:

It is an act of extreme selfishness for a married couple to refuse to have children when they are able to do so.

Ezra Taft Benson:

The Lord clearly defined the roles of mothers and fathers in providing for and rearing a righteous posterity. In the beginning, Adam--not Eve--was instructed to earn the bread by the sweat of his brow. Contrary to conventional wisdom, a mother's calling is in the home, not in the market place.

Again, in the Doctrine and Covenants, we read: "Women have claim on their husbands for their maintenance, until their husbands are taken" (D&C 83:2). This is the divine right of a wife and mother. She cares for and nourishes her children at home. Her husband earns the living for the family, which makes this nourishing possible. With that claim on their husbands for their financial support, the counsel of the Church has always been for mothers to spend their full time in the home in rearing and caring for their children.

We realize also that some of our choice sisters are widowed and divorced and that others find themselves in unusual circumstances where, out of necessity, they are required to work for a period of time. But these instances are the exception, not the rule.

Ezra Taft Benson:

The world teaches birth control. Tragically, many of our sisters subscribe to its pills and practices when they could easily provide earthly tabernacles for more of our Father's children. We know that every spirit assigned to this earth will come, whether through us or someone else. There are couples in the Church who think they are getting along just fine with their limited families but who will someday suffer the pains of remorse when they meet the spirits that might have been part of their posterity. The first commandment given to man was to multiply and replenish the earth with children. That commandment has never been altered, modified, or canceled. The Lord did not say to multiply and replenish the earth if it is convenient, or if you are wealthy, or after you have gotten your schooling, or when there is peace on earth, or until you have four children. The Bible says, "Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: ". . . Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them. . ." (Ps. 127:3, 5.) We believe God is glorified by having numerous children and a program of perfection for them. So also will God glorify that husband and wife who have a large posterity and who have tried to raise them up in righteousness.

Ezra Taft Benson:

Do not postpone the blessings of honorable parenthood following marriage. When God said it was our responsibility to multiply and replenish the earth, that marriage was primarily for that purpose, He didn't insert any provisions.

Ezra Taft Benson:

The undue postponement of parenthood is bound to bring disappointment and is not pleasing in the sight of God. Yes, of course, one can always find excuses. The young husband is going through school. I know how difficult it is. I remember our first year of married life on seventy dollars a month for both of us. I thank the Lord for my noble companion and her fervent determination to put first things first.

It thrills me to witness young couples where the husband is struggling through medical school or dental school or some other school and they have the courage and strength and the faith to know that in some way the God of Heaven will assist them if they do their duty and have their families.

So, I would ask our young people to think seriously about these things, pray about them, fast about them. The Lord will give them the answers, because He wants them to have the blessings of a righteous posterity. Sometimes marriage may be postponed to the point where, for physical and other reasons, parenthood is denied. Oh, what a loss when the time comes! It is worth practically any sacrifice to have those sweet spirits come into the home and to have them come early, that the parents might enjoy them for a longer period, that they might enjoy their parents for a longer period, and that the children might enjoy their grandparents for a longer period.

Ezra Taft Benson:

I know the special blessings of a large and happy family, for my dear parents had a quiver full of children (Psalm 127:5). Being the oldest of eleven children, I saw the principles of unselfishness, mutual cooperation, loyalty to each other, and a host of other virtues developed in a large and wonderful family with my noble mother as the queen of that home.

Young mothers and fathers, with all my heart I counsel you not to postpone having your children, being co-creators with our Father in Heaven. Do not use the reasoning of the world, such as, "We will wait until we can better afford having children, until we are more secure, until John has completed his education, until he has a better paying job, until we have a larger home, until we have obtained a few of the material conveniences," and on and on. This is the reasoning of the world and is not pleasing in the sight of God. Mothers who enjoy good health, have your children and have them early. And, husbands, always be considerate of your wives in the bearing of children.

Do not curtail the number of children for personal or selfish reasons. Material possessions, social convenience, and so-called professional advantages are nothing compared to a righteous posterity. In the eternal perspective, children -- not possessions, not position, not prestige -- are our greatest jewels.

[Steve]

...and are free from impurities that would be entailed upon their posterity...

That's an interesting phrase. I'd never heard that before.

[Edward]

Ian, that's one of the best lists of quotes I've ever seen on that subject, and if anything, it reiterates just how important the matter is right now. I mean, this wasn't even an issue a few decades ago, when large families were totally normal, if not expected. Only in the past while has the trend shifted in the opposite direction, and the foresight of the prophets to anticipate that as early as Brigham Young, and I'm sure Joseph Smith, demonstrates how much Heavenly Father cares about the issue. This is not just another commandment; it's probably one at the forefront of the Father's thoughts, and one of his primary concerns. It should be one of ours, too.

[Steve]

Actually, I don't think it was just in the past little while that this trend has been changing. Six kids in my family, and we were considered a huge family, even when I was in grade school. This was still an issue even a few decades ago. Even in Brigham Young's time, this was something that worried the brethren.

[Bryn]

I don't know if you've seen the Buster Keaton film "Three Ages," but the end of it shows a cave-man family with tens of children, an ancient Roman family with a small group of children, and a modern family (pre-1920's) with a pet dog. It would seem this issue's been around a while.

[Ann]

Thanks for that great list of quotes. This week's "LDS Church News" contains an article summarizing Elder Earl C. Tingey's CES fireside from Jan. 13 (2008). I have yet to listen to it (it is available through http://www.lds.org) but from the article, it appears that he discussed our beliefs of the Lord's pattern for the organization of the family. He provides 10 simple truths:
1. God has created this earth for our habitation and use.
2. Man should not be alone.
3. The plan provides that a man and woman will cleave unto one another as husband and wife.
4. Agency is essential.
5. We live by work all the days of our life.
6. Husbands and wives are to have children and create a family.
7. A family continues on, becoming a multigenerational family.
8. We acknowledge God, worship Him, and offer unto Him our sacrifices.
9. From these sacrifices come promised blessings.
10. The fulness of the gospel, including all temple ordinances, is available to us.

[John]

It speaks well of your parents, Steve, Ann, that they understood these principles and were obedient at a time when this subject was particularly hot. When we were young ('60's, '70's) the idea of childbearing and large families was held in great derision and contempt, even in certain circles in the church. Many of our generation felt that 2 or 3 children were as much "financial and emotional burden" as they were willing to bear. This general social climate precipitated a number of statements and admonitions and warnings from the leaders of the church and the prophets, as you can see in Ian's posts.

I am forever grateful to Tuly for her determination to be obedient to this counsel in the face of intense social pressures to the contrary. Can any of us, for instance, imagine life without Emma?

Heaven knows, if we had waited to have children until we could afford them, or until we felt "ready" or until we "knew each other better", or until we were "finished" with this or that, we'd still be childless. And where would you all be? Or rather, where would WE be without you? Perish the thought.

I hope none of you will make choices that would deny you of these richest of blessings/challenges. Of course it is hard ... of course it will take all your energies, ... of course it will cost you, and exhaust you. Count your blessings.

[Ann]

A couple of weeks ago, I read Elder Condie's general conference talk "Claim the Exceeding Great and Precious Promises." In it, he shares the stories of Abraham and Sarah, Isaac and Rebekah, Jacob and Rachel. What beautiful Old Testament examples of righteous husbands and wives, with their desires to have children and the promises and blessings received.

[Tuly]

Ann, I loved Elder Tingey's talk. Sister Julie B. Beck gave a talk in the 2007 General Society Meeting, that now that I read it prepared us for her General Conference talk - Mothers Who Know. This too, is an excellent talk.

What Latter-day Saint Women Do Best: Stand Strong and Immovable
Julie B. Beck
Relief Society General President



Julie B. Beck, “What Latter-day Saint Women Do Best: Stand Strong and Immovable,” Ensign, Nov 2007, 109–12



My dear sisters, I approach this awesome responsibility with a prayer in my heart. I have a testimony of the true restored gospel of Jesus Christ. The Savior is our leader and exemplar, our rock, our strength, and our advocate. Any part I can play in helping Him and His ordained prophet is a blessing in my life. I have always had a great love and respect for the sisters of this society, and I believe that the women of this Church are the finest, most capable women in the world. Please know of my love for you—the magnificent women of this Church.

President Hinckley said in a worldwide leadership training meeting: “I am convinced there is no other organization anywhere to match the Relief Society of this Church. It has a membership of more than five million women across the earth. If they will be united and speak with one voice, their strength will be incalculable. … It is so tremendously important that the women of the Church stand strong and immovable for that which is correct and proper under the plan of the Lord.”

I have pondered and studied this inspiring charge, and I have sought answers regarding how the women of this Church could fulfill President Hinckley’s challenge and promise. How can they speak with one voice and stand strong and immovable for those things which are correct and proper? Within the plan of the Lord there are specific things Latter-day Saint women must do because they are daughters of God, chosen to come to the earth at a time which has been called “a very difficult season in the history of the world.”

In order to do our part as women under the Lord’s plan, we must stand strong and immovable in faith, strong and immovable in family, and strong and immovable in relief. We must excel in these three important areas which set us apart as the Lord’s disciples. Through Relief Society we practice being disciples of Christ. We learn what He would have us learn, we do what He would have us do, and we become what He would have us become. When we gather with this focus, the work of Relief Society is relevant whatever your circumstance—whether you are 18 or 88, single or married, have children or not, or whether you live in Bountiful, Utah, or Bangalore, India.

Stand Strong and Immovable in Faith
First, Latter-day Saint women must be strong and immovable in their faith. They can and should excel in living and sharing their testimonies of the Lord Jesus Christ and His restored gospel. We do this as we:

1. Make and keep covenants with Him.

2. Are worthy and worship in His temples.

3. Study His doctrine in the scriptures and the words of prophets.

4. Qualify for, recognize, and follow the Holy Ghost.

5. Share and defend His gospel.

6. Participate in sincere personal and family prayer.

7. Have family home evening.

8. Live principles of self-reliance and provident living.

These are essential things which must be done before nonessential things. These are simple, indispensable practices that almost seem mundane when we talk about them. However, they are marks of discipleship which have always been foundational for Relief Society sisters. No one can do these things for us—these are personal practices and habits that set us apart as strong and immovable for that which is correct.

What a different world and Church this would be if every Latter-day Saint sister excelled at making, renewing, and keeping covenants; if every sister qualified for a temple recommend and worshipped more often in temples; if every sister studied the scriptures and doctrines of Christ and knew them so well that she could teach and defend those doctrines at any time or place. Think of our combined strength if every sister had sincere prayer every morning and night or, better yet, prayed unceasingly as the Lord has commanded. If every family had family prayer daily and had a family home evening once a week, we would be stronger. If every sister was self-reliant enough to be able to give freely of her knowledge, talents, and resources and if every sister’s discipleship was reflected by what she said and what she wore, we would be immovable in that which is correct.

Stand Strong and Immovable in Family
Second, Latter-day Saint women must be strong and immovable in family. They can and should do families better than anyone else. We, as disciples of Christ, can and should be the very best in the world at upholding, nourishing, and protecting families. We do this as we:

1. Understand and defend the divine roles of women.

2. Embrace the blessings of the priesthood.

3. Form eternal families.

4. Maintain strong marriages.

5. Bear and rear children.

6. Express love for and nurture family members.

7. Accept responsibility to prepare a righteous rising generation.

8. Know, live, and defend the doctrine of the family.

9. Search out and perform temple ordinances for extended family members.

As a disciple of Jesus Christ, every woman in this Church is given the responsibility for upholding, nurturing, and protecting families. Women have distinct assignments given to them from before the foundation of the world. And as a covenant-keeping Latter-day Saint woman, you know that raising your voice in defense of the doctrine of the family is critical to the strength of families the world over.

Knowing and defending the divine roles of women is so important in a world where women are bombarded with false messages about their identity. Popular media figures on the radio and television set themselves up as authorities and spokespersons for women. While these media messages may contain elements of truth, most preach a gospel of individual fulfillment and self-worship, often misleading women regarding their true identity and worth. These voices offer a counterfeit happiness, and as a result, many women are miserable, lonely, and confused.

The only place Latter-day Saint women will learn the whole and complete truth about their indispensable role in the plan of happiness is in this Church and its doctrine. We know that in the great premortal conflict we sided with our Savior, Jesus Christ, to preserve our potential to belong to eternal families. We know we are daughters of God, and we know what we are to do. Women find true happiness when they understand and delight in their unique role within the plan of salvation. The things women can and should do very best are championed and taught without apology here. We believe in the formation of eternal families. That means we believe in getting married. We know that the commandment to multiply and replenish the earth remains in force. That means we believe in having children. We have faith that with the Lord’s help we can be successful in rearing and teaching children. These are vital responsibilities in the plan of happiness, and when women embrace those roles with all their hearts, they are happy! Knowing and defending the truth about families is the privilege of every sister in this Church.

Because families are eternal, we cannot afford to be casual or complacent about those relationships. Much of the great work of this society in the past has been centered in helping Latter-day Saint women strengthen families, with emphasis on improving our nurturing skills—homemaking skills, parenting skills, and marriage skills. Families mean work, but they are our great work—and we are not afraid of work. This is what we do best; no one does families better than the sisters of this Relief Society. We uphold, nourish, and protect them.

Stand Strong and Immovable in Relief
Third, Latter-day Saint women must be strong and immovable in relief. We are a Relief Society, and we should be the best women in the world at providing relief. This has been our special province from the beginning. The word relief means “to lift up, lighten.” It means “a raising [up].” “The notion is ‘to raise (someone) out of trouble.’ ” Our service and the relief that we offer are a sign that we are the Lord’s disciples and we are members of His true restored Church. It is a privilege to be part of this worldwide organization for women, whose name describes what we are meant to do: provide relief.

Joseph Smith said that the women of this Church were organized to provide for “the relief of the poor, the destitute, the widow and the orphan, and for the exercise of all benevolent purposes” and “not only to relieve the poor, but to save souls.” That relief effort was further defined by Elder John A. Widtsoe as “relief of poverty, relief of illness, relief of doubt, relief of ignorance—relief of all that hinders the joy and progress of woman.”

Notwithstanding the important relief efforts of the past, the greatest and most important work for the women of this Church still lies ahead. The earth must be prepared to receive the Lord Jesus Christ, and we must help with this preparation in the midst of wars, turmoil, natural calamities, and an increase of evil. There has not been a time in the history of the world when a full-scale relief effort was more needed. Because we are disciples of Jesus Christ and we have made covenants with Him, we are already committed by covenant to participate in that relief effort.

You are each unique and precious. Each of you has your own burdens and challenges, which give you the blessing of turning to the Lord for help. We also have the opportunity to assist the Lord by providing relief for others, which is the greatest, fastest solution to loneliness and hopelessness and a sure way to obtain the companionship of the Spirit. All we need to do to start offering relief is get on our knees and ask, “Who needs my help?” Every sister—married or single, young or old—is needed in this relief effort, and it is what we should do better than anyone else.

Strong and Immovable Leaders
Now, some thoughts for you great Relief Society presidencies, who serve so faithfully. You have an exciting responsibility and hold a sacred trust as you carry out the work of Relief Society. Yours is the obligation to help Latter-day Saint women excel in faith, family, and relief. You will help the gospel become a great and compelling interest to the women of the Church. You will help the women perfect homemaking, parenting, and marriage skills so they can fully live the gospel in their own homes.

Every called and set apart Relief Society leader has the right and authority to be guided in fulfilling her inspired assignment to best meet the needs of those she serves. You will receive the help of the Holy Spirit as you focus on essentials and will be given the courage to forego the frivolous.

Every leader knows that families are being hit hard by the storms of this world, storms such as addictions, debt, unfaithfulness, and disobedience. The Savior saw our day as “the beginning of sorrows,” when many would be deceived. He told of wars and rumors of wars, famines, earthquakes, and pestilences. This describes the world we live in today, and it is essential that the women of this Church take hold of their responsibility to be prepared in all things.

As leaders of Relief Society, you can help every sister in every home in every ward and branch become self-reliant. They should be laying up a store of money, food, and skills, which will sustain them and their families in perilous times. The Church has provided you great helps, such as self-reliance pamphlets, to get you started. This is part of your work.

You have the privilege to counsel in unity with priesthood leaders to plan a defense and refuge against those storms and tailor a relief effort for the specific needs of your people. The friendship and sociality that make life so much sweeter will be a natural by-product of our efforts. Focusing on relief will always build sociality, whereas focusing on sociality may not always bring relief.

When we gather for any purpose under the banner of Relief Society, we must spend our precious time and consecrated funds for the purpose of helping sisters do what we should do best. In our Sunday Relief Society meetings, openings should be brief and invite the Spirit to be with us. We need every possible minute to study the gospel together so we can be best in our responsibilities. All Relief Society conferences, activities, gatherings, and meetings must focus on helping sisters do what they should do best. President Hinckley’s plea to us is:

“We have a greater challenge than we realize. …

“… ‘Do the best you can.’ But I want to emphasize that it be the very best. … We are capable of doing so much better. …

“… We must get on our knees and plead with the Lord for help and strength and direction. We must then stand on our feet and move forward.”

My dear sisters, our prophet, whom I sustain with all my heart, has said that there is a better way than the way of the world. He has called upon the women of the Church to stand together for righteousness. He has said that if we are united and speak with one voice, our strength will be incalculable. I have expressed to him my confidence that the women of this Church will stand strong and immovable in our faith in Jesus Christ and His restored gospel; strong and immovable in upholding, nourishing, and protecting our families; and strong and immovable in providing relief. May the Lord bless us as we do this most essential work of women is my prayer in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

[Ian]

this article is from the british times:

February 1, 2009
Two children should be limit, says green guru
Sarah-Kate Templeton, Health Editor

COUPLES who have more than two children are being “irresponsible” by creating an unbearable burden on the environment, the government’s green adviser has warned.

Jonathon Porritt, who chairs the government’s Sustainable Development Commission, says curbing population growth through contraception and abortion must be at the heart of policies to fight global warming. He says political leaders and green campaigners should stop dodging the issue of environmental harm caused by an expanding population.

A report by the commission, to be published next month, will say that governments must reduce population growth through better family planning.

“I am unapologetic about asking people to connect up their own responsibility for their total environmental footprint and how they decide to procreate and how many children they think are appropriate,” Porritt said.

“I think we will work our way towards a position that says that having more than two children is irresponsible. It is the ghost at the table. We have all these big issues that everybody is looking at and then you don’t really hear anyone say the “p” word.”

The Optimum Population Trust, a campaign group of which Porritt is a patron, says each baby born in Britain will, during his or her lifetime, burn carbon roughly equivalent to 2½ acres of old-growth oak woodland - an area the size of Trafalgar Square.

The British population, now 61m, will pass 70m by 2028, the Office for National Statistics says. The fertility rate for women born outside Britain is estimated to be 2.5, compared with 1.7 for those born here. The global population of 6.7 billion is expected to rise to 9.2 billion by 2050.

Porritt, who has two children, intends to persuade environmental pressure groups to make population a focus of campaigning.

“Many organisations think it is not part of their business. My mission with the Friends of the Earth and the Greenpeaces of this world is to say: ‘You are betraying the interests of your members by refusing to address population issues and you are doing it for the wrong reasons because you think it is too controversial,” he said.

Porritt, a former chairman of the Green party, says the government must improve family planning, even if it means shifting money from curing illness to increasing contraception and abortion.

He said: “We still have one of the highest rates of teenage pregnancies in Europe and we still have relatively high levels of pregnancies going to birth, often among women who are not convinced they want to become mothers.